“Totally Committed”

The next several plays I’ll publish haven’t been produced, but the first four are scheduled for a production later in 2019 here in Oaxaca. They’ve already been translated into Spanish. These are also plays that were written at various times over the past 25 years. “Totally Committed” was written in 2001.

These plays fall into the standard play format meaning the characters have names and genders and locations are given. Unlike the previous 10-minute plays I published, each line of dialogue isn’t limited to five words. Your basic normal plays. 🙂

Synopsis: A celibate woman goes back on her promise of sexual activity upon her engagement.

CHARACTERS

Stevie, female

Jordan, male

Note: Actors can be any age, just so long as it’s believable that the female has had a sexual life and has been celibate for almost a decade. Diverse casting is encouraged.

TIME: 2001

SETTING: Stevie’s apartment. The only necessary set piece is a couch (or a bed if the play is set in the bedroom).

(Lights up on JORDAN and STEVIE, some clothes off, kissing and groping. Jazz plays in the b.g. STEVIE moans)

JORDAN: Oh, yeah. Feels good. Feels sooo goooood.

STEVIE: Jordan, stop.

JORDAN: Can’t stop.

STEVIE: Please stop.

JORDAN: Don’t wanna stop. (STEVIE pushes JORDAN with such force that he rolls across the floor) What?!!

STEVIE: (covering her breasts with her shirt) I can’t.

JORDAN: You have to.

STEVIE: I do not.

JORDAN: But, you promised.

STEVIE: My promise to the Lord is stronger.

JORDAN: If he were sitting here with the raging stiffo I have, he’d be saying, ‘Stevie, grabbeth thy rod and leadeth me to salvation. Giveth me salvation. Stroketh me to ejaculation.’

STEVIE: This is no joking matter.

JORDAN: Who’s joking? You can’t leave me in this condition.

STEVIE: I felt a shooting pain. It was a sign.

JORDAN: It was pleasure. The intense kind. You just can’t tell the difference after all these VIE: I know the difference. It started when you touched me down there.

JORDAN: Down there could use a little touching. I’m surprised your clit hasn’t divorced you for neglect.

STEVIE: I take my vow very seriously. And so does my clit.

JORDAN: Is that why your hand made a bee-line for my dick?

STEVIE: I’m not immune to temptation. Just because I’m celibate doesn’t mean I’m not human.

JORDAN: Stevie, you haven’t masturbated in nine years. I question your humanness.

STEVIE: I pray. Especially when it’s throbbing like it is now. Pray with me.

JORDAN: Let me do a laying of the hands. Isn’t that what Jesus did to relieve to pain?

STEVIE: I know Jesus. You’re not Jesus.

(JORDAN plays a sexy song on his phone)

STEVIE: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

JORDAN: We always dance to this song.

STEVIE: This is different.

JORDAN: What about the ring?

STEVIE: It’s beautiful.

JORDAN: It’s commitment.

STEVIE: Yes, it is.

JORDAN: So?

STEVIE: I just don’t think we should dance, Jordan.

JORDAN: Forget the music, then. Talk to me. Don’t look at me like that. That ring is supposed to be my ticket to the Promised Land.

STEVIE: I’ve had a change of heart.

JORDAN: You had what, Cruella?

STEVIE: Don’t be mean.

JORDAN: When did you have this revelation?

STEVIE: The other day. And I owe it all to you, sweetheart.

JORDAN: Don’t blame me for your fit of temporary insanity.

STEVIE: I’m not crazy. This is about fulfillment. Our fulfillment.

JORDAN: (Taking her in his arms) Then let me start fulfilling.

STEVIE: I’m talking spiritual.

JORDAN: Excuse me, but I’ve had enough spirit to fill ten heavens. You promised me some sex and I want it now!

STEVIE: God will forgive you for that lie.

JORDAN: Did I say intercourse? Did I?

STEVIE: No, but I naturally thought so.

JORDAN: Sex is comprised of many activities, if you recall. None of which I’ve been able to enjoy for sex—I mean, six—months. Six agonizingly loooong months.

STEVIE: I never forced you into anything.

JORDAN: Granted, but you did say that once we were totally committed to each other, we could commence with touching, caressing and kissing, right?

STEVIE: Yes.

JORDAN: Baby, I’m tired of taking matters into my own hand. I’ve had the patience of, of—

STEVIE: Job.

JORDAN: Yeah, Job. And I’d say that ring you accepted tonight—accepted willingly, I might add—that’s about as totally committed as two people can get, wouldn’t you say?

STEVIE: Why are you questioning me like a criminal?

JORDAN: Because what you’re doing to me is a crime. Do you agree with my last statement?

STEVIE: Yes, I do, Mister Mason.

JORDAN: Very funny. Listen, if you go back on this, what’s next?

STEVIE: Like what?

JORDAN: Before your condition—

STEVIE: Celibacy is not a condition. It’s a privilege.

JORDAN: Fine. Before your privilege, what was your favorite thing about sex?

STEVIE: You know.

JORDAN: Humor me.

STEVIE: Oral sex.

JORDAN: What if you decide next year that it’s disgusting?

STEVIE: Never happen. You don’t know how much I loved it.

JORDAN: See, you said loved. Past tense. You’ve already changed your mind.

STEVIE: Oh, sweetheart, I can’t wait for the moment we put our mouths to work.

JORDAN: This is torture. To love someone more than the world and not be able to touch them.

STEVIE: It’ll be worth the wait. You’ll see. Besides, we’re more than just sex, aren’t we?

JORDAN: It’s not natural to suppress these feelings.

STEVIE: It’s what made you so special, though. You saw beyond the physical.

JORDAN: Everybody told me I was nuts to go along with this, but I said, “Nope, I know what I’m doing. We have a pact. Appetizers before the ‘I do,’ the main course after.” Baby, I haven’t eaten a full meal in six months and I’m hungry.

STEVIE: Oh, but how good that first mouthful is going to taste. And all the ones after it. Listen, I know it’s hard. (giggles) Sorry. You said you understood why I wanted to wait.

JORDAN: Easy for you. You’re not human, remember?

STEVIE: That’s not true.

JORDAN: Anybody who can go ten years without sex…

STEVIE: I told you I pray.

JORDAN: I know, I know. Which means you’ve questioned your decision.

STEVIE: Not giving in has made me stronger.

JORDAN: Lucky me. You promised physical contact when we committed. You’ve changed your mind without consulting me, and now I have to suffer until we get married.

STEVIE: It’ll be easier for you if you see it as something besides suffering.

JORDAN: Let’s elope. Tonight. There’s got to be a state close by that will marry us.

STEVIE: No. We’re sticking to our plan. Jordan?

JORDAN: (pouting) What?

STEVIE: You say you understand my faith, but do you?

JORDAN: Something about being used by men.

STEVIE: Bingo. And the solution was the commitment I made to Jesus Christ. I know that whomever I’m destined to share my life with will see this greatness that surrounds me, and enlarges itself every moment of my life. Selah.

JORDAN: Jesus never went back on his word.

STEVIE: Is something else bothering you? About us, I mean.

JORDAN: Not a thing. You know you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to marry. Ever.

STEVIE: Then what’s another six months compared to decades together?

JORDAN: What about kissing? Kissing is not a bad thing.

STEVIE: It’s a wonderful thing. One of the most intimate acts two people can share.

JORDAN: How about one teeny, tiny kiss to commemorate our commitment?

STEVIE: Just one? I don’t know.

JORDAN: I know you have a heart.

STEVIE: Well, it is a special occasion.

(They kiss. Jordan caresses her breast. She puts her hand near his penis, but instantly pulls it away and ends the kiss)

You said just a kiss.

JORDAN: Your hand was on a journey, too.

STEVIE: God, but you’re a great kisser.

JORDAN: I want to sleep with you tonight.

STEVIE: Jordan.

JORDAN: I mean just sleep.

STEVIE: And you wonder why I insist on no contact. Look where this is heading.

JORDAN: But, just now, the kiss, you liked it. Loved it, even. You can’t tell me you can turn it off until the wedding just like that.

STEVIE: I must avoid the temptation.

JORDAN: I want the real reason you changed your mind.

STEVIE: About two years ago I met this guy, a real ladies’ man so I was shocked when he stuck around. We’d been dating about seven months when he said he’d finally found the woman he wanted buried next to him.

JORDAN: How romantic.

STEVIE: It was the way he said it.

JORDAN: Whatever.

10.

STEVIE: Anyway, we kissed and before I knew it, his head was between my legs.

JORDAN: You were naked?! With a man?!

STEVIE: Quit making fun. I was ashamed of my behavior and stopped it right away. I told him there’d be no more until the wedding and that was the last time I saw him. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. My point is, just because you say you’re committed, it doesn’t mean…

JORDAN: But, I gave you a ring.

STEVIE: If you can wait until the wedding, then I’ll know you were sincere. There’s no better way to show your love.

JORDAN: Physical contact between two people as they grow closer is completely natural. More, it’s totally essential.

STEVIE: What you say makes perfect sense. The answer is still no.

JORDAN: Then I want my ring back.

STEVIE: You’re not serious.

JORDAN: I’m not leaving without it.

STEVIE: What has happened to you?

JORDAN: Me? You’re the one denying us an essential element in our relationship.

11.

STEVIE: Leaving would be the biggest mistake of your life.

JORDAN: I can’t live with this new arrangement.

STEVIE: Are you really leaving?

JORDAN: No contact?

(STEVIE shakes her head. JORDAN opens the door)

STEVIE: See, I was right. You’re just like all the others.

JORDAN: None of the others stayed this long. Or gave you a ring.

STEVIE: No, but they left just the same. (long pause) I’m going to bed. Alone. Will I hear from you tomorrow? (pause) I love you, Jordan. You’re very special. In my eyes and His.

JORDAN: Yeah, you’re special, too.

STEVIE: It’ll be worth it, you’ll see. Just put your faith in the Lord.

(JORDAN kisses her cheek and leaves. STEVIE leans against the door and slides to a crouching position. She closes her eyes and puts her hands on her breasts as the lights fade to black)

THE END

You can request the Spanish translation of this script by emailing me at mjinoaxaca@gmail.com.

“Sexual Relations”

Play #5 in “La noche de las obras cortas” (The Night of Short Plays) performed in Oaxaca, Mexico in June 2018.

Anybody interested in producing these eight plays–scripts available in English and Spanish–please click on contact and send me a message.

“Sexual Relations” synopsis: a vow of celibacy, a change of heart and family.

CHARACTERS

TIME: The Present

PLACE: A bar and a park in a small city

(Lights up on a bar signified by one tall table people would stand at. Music PLAYS in the b.g.)

A: Ready for another?

B: Are you?

A: If you are.

B: Maybe. You?

A: I’m good either way.

B: Me, too. Glad that’s settled.

A: Nothin’ happenin’ here.

B: No.

A: So?

B: Up to you.

A: A movie?

B: Which one?

A: Too much pressure. I’m open.

B: Anything is fine.

A: Scifi?

B: Not a big fan.

A: Anything but scifi.

B: Yeah. Comedy?

A: What about a comedy club?

B: Ooh, that sounds good.

A: Great. Let’s go.

B: Oh, we can’t.

A: Why not?

B: It’s Tuesday. It’s closed.

A: Ah, crap.

B: Yeah.

A: I need to move.

B: Where?

A: A city with more action.

B: Yeah, this burg is boring.

A: One comedy club. One cinema.

B: But, four screens.

A: Whooooppeee! What’s your dream city?

B: Hmmm. Springfield.

A: Springfield? What about Miami? LA?

B: Too big.

A: New York. That’s my city.

B: Ever been?

A: Once. Didn’t want to leave.

B: What’s stopping you now?

A: Money. And you?

B: Me what?

A: Springfield.

B: Umm…a possible situation.

A: Ooh, how cryptic.

B: I think you know it.

A: (smiles) Maybe. Go for a walk?

B: Sure. Where?

A: With walking, destination doesn’t matter.

(The ACTORS walk aimlessly around the stage and through the audience if possible, for the next several lines. They stop at the park bench. B takes A’s hand. A pulls away)

B: You didn’t like it?

A: No. I mean, yes.

B: But, you pulled away.

A: Maybe too soon.

B: For holding hands?

A: Well…

B: We’ve done it before.

A: I know.

B: Then what is it?

A: Nothing.

(B holds out hand. A hesitates, but takes it)

B: How does it feel?

A: Fine.

B: That’s it? Just fine?

A: Soft. It’s a nice hand.

B: Are you nervous about something?

A: (quickly) No.

B: You don’t have to lie.

A: Okay, maybe a little.

B: About what?

A: One thing leads to another.

B: It can.

A: Yes, it can.

B: Do you want it to?

A: Yes, but…

B: But, what?

A: Where are we going?

B: I thought my apartment.

A: Why?

B: One thing leads to another.

A: Let’s stay here. Please?

B: Sure. For a little while.

(THEY sit on the bench)

A: Thanks. I’m not really afraid.

B: Of what?

A: You know.

B: Can you say it?

A: Of course.

B: Okay.

A: Now?

B: If you don’t mind.

A: The one with three letters?

B: Or four. Your choice.

A: Three.

B: Okay.

A: S-s-sex.

B: That was difficult for you.

A: A little.

B: A lot. Why?

A: I can’t say.

B: Bad experience?

A: Not that.

B: You won’t tell me.

A: It’s too soon.

B: To tell me or sex?

A: Both.

B: I like you.

A: I like you, too.

B: Really, really like you.

A: Oh, thank you.

B: We need to communicate.

A: About “it”?

B: It’s essential to a relationship.

A: Mmm-hmmm.

B: Let’s talk.

A: Anything but that.

B: Just one question?

A: Let’s talk about climate change.

B: The climate is changing.

A: Yes, it is.

B: Between us.

A: Oh. Sorry.

B: Have you ever done it?

A: I don’t want—no.

B: No? Never? At your age?

A: I know. I’m a freak.

B: No, just…hard to find.

A: I made a promise.

B: To whom?

A: It doesn’t matter.

B: To god?

A: Not exactly.

B: What’s the promise?

10.

A: Save myself for marriage.

B: Must be hard.

A: Very funny.

B: My bad.

A: Sometimes it’s very…difficult.

B: I don’t know any virgins.

A: We’re special. Maybe even endangered.

B: I admire your conviction, although…

A: Although what?

B: Finding a compatible partner.

A: Obviously, I haven’t.

B: Maybe an ex-nun.

A: I’ve tried that.

B: Really? And?

A: Couldn’t wait to do it.

11.

B: No kidding?

A: All over me in minutes.

B: Well, don’t give up.

A: It’s a deal breaker.

B: Not necessarily.

A: What do you mean?

B: Maybe you’re worth the wait.

A: I’ve never heard that before.

B: Always a first time.

A: I’m very happy.

B: Me, too.

(A gives B a soft kiss on the lips)

A: A question.

B: Sure.

A: Why did you decide—

12.

B: To deal with it?

A: Yes.

B: Maybe it’s not that important.

A: But, you like it.

B: Too much, probably.

A: There’s one more thing.

B: Is this the last thing?

A: Yes. Are you catholic?

B: Not the best, but yes.

A: Good.

B: Why?

A: My uncle will be thrilled.

B: That’s nice.

A: I need to call him.

B: You promised him?

13.

A: Yes. Say I found someone.

B: Let’s call from my apartment.

A: I can’t wait that long.

(A dials)

Hello. Father Tom Jenkins, please.

B: Stop! Hang up! Now!

A: Why?

B: Just do it.

(A disconnects the call)

A: What’s the matter?

B: Maybe there’s more than one.

A: One what?

B: Father Tom Jenkins.

A: Could be.

B: Does he live in Cleveland?

A: Yes.

B: Works for the bishop?

14.

A: Yes.

B: Shit.

A: What’s this about?

B: Do you know his story?

A: I don’t understand.

B: After he was ordained?

A: We kinda lost touch. Why?

B: He broke a promise.

A: Nobody’s perfect.

B: We’re first cousins.

(Lights down)

THE END