“What If?”

This is play #7 in “La noche de las obras cortas” (The Night of Short Plays) produced in June 2018 in Oaxaca, Mexico.

“What If?” synopsis: Two people wanting to move on after recent breakups.

CHARACTERS

A

B

They can be any combination of age, race or gender

TIME: It’s always the present

PLACE: Anywhere

1.

(Two actors somewhere. Each has their phone out and a drink in front of them)

B: You’re not listening.

A: Huh? Uh, yes, yes.

B: What’d I just say?

A: Something about more shit.

B: Not even close.

A: Um, Dover cliffs.

B: Pay attention!

A: Okay.

B: Are-you-over-it?

A: So over it.

B: Like me and my –ex?

A: You’re not over that.

B: Have been.

A: You constantly call.

2.

B: Owes me money. Lots.

A: You’ll never see it.

B: Maybe, but I’m over it.

A: Never.

B: Just like you.

A: Totally different situation.

B: Exactly the same.

A: I dumped. You got dumped.

B: A breakup is a breakup.

A: So not.

B: What are you doing now?

A: Message—nothing.

B: So not over it.

(B extends their hand asking to see the phone.)

A: No.

3.

B: I can just take it.

A: Hah! Try it.

B: You know I can.

A: Try.

B: I’m stronger.

A: I’ve been working out.

B: Since when?

A: Since…I have more time.

B: Hard to tell.

A: Just toning. Not muscles.

B: You don’t need muscles.

A: That’s what I thought.

B: Getting back in the game?

A: Just getting fitter.

B: You’re good looking.

4.

A: Thanks.

B: Won’t take you long.

A: I’m not available.

B: Not now.

A: Not for a long while.

B: Who are you messaging?

A: No—no one.

B: You promised to quit.

A: I’m deleting.

B: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

A: Honest.

B: What if…

A: I’m not playing.

B: Afraid?

A: Waste of time.

5.

B: Fun to play, though.

A: What’s done is done.

B: Just one. Different topic.

A: Let’s hear it.

B: What if…I died tomorrow?

A: I’d take your Beemer.

B: So sensitive.

A: What, I should cry?

B: It’s an option.

A: What if I died tomorrow?

B: Before me or after?

A: Such a comedian.

B: I’d go to work.

A: No shit?!

B: You die, the world stops?

6.

A: I guess not.

B: What if the call comes?

A: (sings)Stop right there.

B: (sings) Before I go any further?

A: You got it, Meatloaf.

B: My favorite album.

A: What if you get one?

B: A call from—?

A: Yes. Or they came here?

B: This isn’t about me.

A: Touchy, touchy.

B: Not at all.

A: Because (sings) You’re cold as ice.

B: (sings) Willing to sacrifice.

A: (sings) Your love.

7.

B: Told you. Way over it.

(THEIR phones ring. They look at them and disconnect)

A & B: Was it?…No.

B: You were hoping.

A: No way.

B: I saw your face.

A: You still have feelings, too.

B: Honestly?

A: Of course.

B: A few.

A: How strong?

B: Medium and waning. You?

A: Depends on the day.

B: Yeah.

A: We need to move on.

8.

B: Definitely.

A: What if…?

B: Yes?

A: No, it’s crazy.

B: Tell me.

A: You and me.

B: Us?

A: You. Me. Us.

B: Ridiculous.

A: I know, right? Sorry.

B: It’s okay.

A: You and me. Never work.

B: Probably, not, but…

A: What? You think it could?

B: Why not?

9.

A: (pause) Yeah, why not?

B: We know each other.

A: Better than anybody.

B: We have common interests.

A: Totally.

B: Might be worth a shot.

A: Be foolish not to try.

B: Absolutely!

A: So, we’re actually a couple?

B: From this moment on.

A: Wow.

(The sound of a DOORBELL [KNOCKING]. A & B look towards the door. Blackout)

THE END