“A Plan”

“A Plan” is the second of the eight plays that made up “A Night of Short Plays.” All of the plays are loosely connected by a common theme: the random nature of life.

How the production of these plays came to be. In April of 2018 I followed up on an introduction made to me in the fall of 2017 at a co-working business with a small outdoor performance space. We agreed on terms and dates and the ball was rolling. The plays would be performed in Spanish using local actors. I found my translator that day; how fortunate that she worked part-time at the business. At the auditions I met a local producer/director who volunteered to recruit directors and actors for me. She has since become one of my best friends and we have planned a couple more events.

On two nights in late June we filled the space (about 50 people each night); I realized then that I could get anything I wrote produced in Oaxaca and it would be accepted and appreciated, given that the work was of good quality. Such a great feeling!!!

Here is the poster for the event.

poster

Synopsis for “A Plan”: two people discuss the merits of having a life plan.

CHARACTERS

A

B

TIME: The Present

PLACE: Anywhere

*Author strongly recommends casting actors other than two white men.

A: And another thing.

B: The doctor is in.

A: I’m already bored.

B: It’s only been a month.

A: Feels like a millennium.

B: Whatya been doin’?

A: Not much. Coming here.

B: Join any clubs or anything?

A: Nah, all snobs and bores.

B: Staying active? Bowling? Golf?

A: With my sciatica?

B: Tell me your day.

A: Eat, watch TV, come here.

B: That’s it?

A: Pretty much.

B: You’re doin’ it all wrong.

A: Says the know-it-all.

B: I know enough.

A: Really?

2.

B: Really.

A: Whadya know?

B: You had no plan.

A: I had, have a plan.

B: I’m all ears.

A: It’s basic. (pause) Simple.

B: They’re always the best.

A: You won’t like it.

B: Why?

A: Because I know you.

B: Try me.

A: Ok. Living life my way.

B: Hmmm. Well…you know…

A: You don’t like it?

B: That’s not a plan.

A: Knew you wouldn’t like it.

B: Sounds like a marketing slogan.

A: For what?

B: Someone without a plan.

A: You have a plan?

B: I’m a planner.

A: You never plan.

B: I plan. Silently.

A: Tell me the last one.

B: My trip to—

A: Bali. Thirty years ago.

3.

B: It was Rio.

A: Either way, you never went.

B: But, I planned it.

A: You got a plan now?

B: You should hear it.

A: A good one?

B: Better than good. Stupendous!

A: Tell me.

B: Can’t. (pause) Not finished.

A: I see. Classified. Top Secret.

B: Ok, I’ll tell you.

A: This oughta be good.

B: When it’s finished.

A: You got no plan.

B: Let’s talk about your plan.

A: I’ve decided, no plan.

B: Got any hobbies?

A: You bet. Poker.

B: Bad choice.

A: Why?

B: You suck at it.

A: I’m improving.

B: Not according to Billy.

A: Big mouth.

B: You always talk about Europe.

A: Yeah, especially Italy.

4.

B: So, go.

A: Takes money.

B: You’re loaded.

A: Not like you think.

B: Oh. Bad investments?

A: I’m paying for aSssisted living.

B: Not you!

A: My parents.

B: They in a good place?

A: The best.

B: Using your money?

A: Mostly.

B: They still healthy?

A: Too healthy to die.

B: That could change. Life’s fragile.

5.

A: We’ll live forever!

B: Here today, gone tomorrow.

A: Not me.

B: So, Europe’s out. See the USA.

A: In my Chevrolet.

B: Go for it!

A: I need a companion.

B: Try eHarmony. It’s the best.

A: You tried it?

B: Lots of times.

A: But, you’re alone.

B: I’m picky.

A: Or they are.

B: You’ve never been picky.

A: And I’m still alone.

B: What a pair we are.

A: You really have a plan?

B: Of course…not.

A: Didn’t think so.

B: Plans are overrated.

A: Absolutely. Only losers plan.

6.

B: We fly…

A AND B: By the seat of our pants.

(A and B clink beer bottles and drink)

B: You’ll think of something.

A: If I want to.

B: You’re smart.

A: Einstein smart.

B: Well…

A: Don’t need to be Einstein.

B: A plan will appear.

A: When it’s time.

B: That’s how it works.

A: You can’t force these things.

B: No, you can’t.

A: That’s not how life works.

B: Amen.

7.

A: I gotta go.

(A stands)

B: Go where?

A: I’m not sure.

B: Then stay. Have another.

A: I could.

B: Of course. You’re retired.

A: I am.

(A sits. B exits and returns with 2 drinks)

B: That’s the beauty of it.

A: Do what I want.

B: When you want.

A: Eat when I’m hungry.

B: Drink when you’re thirsty.

A: Hardly need a clock.

B: The sun is your clock.

A: I’m gonna eat.

B: You love the burgers here.

A: Chinese, maybe.

B: Ok, Chinese it is.

A: Maybe I’ll just walk around.

B: Oh, I envy your life.

A: You’ll be there soon.

B: Yes, I will.

A: With or without a plan.

B: With or without. Can’t wait.

A: Italian sounds good.

B: Sure. Thinking about Italy, right?

8.

A: Pizza or pasta.

B: Your decision of the day.

(A stands and tries to give B some money, but B waves it away)

A: See you tomorrow?

B: That’s the plan.

A: Maybe I’ll check out eHarmony.

B: I knew you would.

A: To plans.

B: Or not.

(THEY clink bottles and drink. A exits. Five to ten seconds after he leaves, car tires SCREECH and a THUD. B reacts. Lights down)

THE END